Ebook The Seven Levels of Intimacy, by Matthew Kelly
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The Seven Levels of Intimacy, by Matthew Kelly
Ebook The Seven Levels of Intimacy, by Matthew Kelly
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We all yearn for intimacy, but we avoid it. We want it badly, but we often run from it. At some deep level we sense that we have a profound need for intimacy, but we are afraid to go there. Why?
We avoid intimacy because having intimacy means exposing our secrets. Being intimate means sharing the secrets of our hearts, minds, and souls with another fragile and imperfect human being. Intimacy requires that we allow another person to discover what moves us, what inspires us, what drives us, what eats at us, what we are running toward, what we are running from, what self-destructive enemies lie within us, and what wild and wonderful dreams we hold in our hearts.
In The Seven Levels of Intimacy, Matthew Kelly teaches us in practical and unforgettable ways how to know these things about ourselves and how to share ourselves more deeply with the people we love. This book will change the way you approach your relationships forever!
- Sales Rank: #10115 in Books
- Published on: 2015-07-17
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.30" h x .90" w x 5.50" l, .65 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 269 pages
From Publishers Weekly
A throwaway buzzword in pop psychology, intimacy remains a litmus test for the health of relationships and is something everyone should strive for, says Kelly, the bestselling author of The Rhythm of Life. "Intimacy is the one thing a person cannot live happily without," he writes. Since many people cling to the "pubescent notion" that intimacy and sex are synonymous, Kelly begins by talking about what intimacy is not-sex, common interests-and proffering up inspirational tidbits and oft heard motivational questions ("Who energizes you?" "Why do they energize you?" "How do you want to be remembered?") before hammering home the thesis of this book: intimacy is a "legitimate need." His seven levels of intimacy-clichés; facts; opinions; hopes and dreams; feelings; faults, fears and failures; and legitimate needs-each get a chapter-length discussion. Kelly advocates openness-in communication, enduring pain, delaying gratification-and sprinkles in bits of spirituality in cajoling readers to foster intimacy, and, in turn, love and the meaning of life. "Life is about love. It's about whom you love and whom you hurt. Life's about how you love and hurt the people close to you." His view may seem simplistic, but Kelly's simple, direct prose and patient explanations will appeal to spiritual readers.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Review
"A highly readable, well-written book that contains deep wisdom and practical guidance about relationships that will be useful to everyone seeking genuine and durable intimacy, especially couples. I especially appreciate his thesis that love is a commitment to helping the other become the best person he can be. I highly recommend it."-- Harville Hendrix, Ph. D., author of "Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples"
About the Author
Matthew Kelly is the New York Times bestselling author of The Rhythm of Life and twenty other books that have been published in more than twenty-five languages and have sold more than 15 million copies.
Most helpful customer reviews
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful.
DONT JUDGE THIS BOOK BY THE COVER(TITLE)
By B. Stiteler
I have bought this book eight times and given all but our first copy away to friends in need. The title is wrong for the content of this book. It will save your relationship of one year or 25. I was in a troubled relationship that ended after three years. I bought the book from the advice of a counselor who told my first wife to read it and then for me to read it and discuss it together. I waited and she would not read it. We divorced and a month later I pulled it out and read it, yes she packed it in my boxes when I left. It was one of the best books I have ever read and had I read it before leaving I would not have left. It takes two in a relationship to make it work but I could have made a difference on my own after reading the book. I remarried and after five years I can spot road bumps and avoid mistakes of the past from the help of this book. It has even helped with the relationship I have with friends and business.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
It all comes down to our relationships with others and ourselves!
By Kathryn Bevis
I have read almost everything Matthew has written, even his business books. This is by far my favorite.
Everything in life is about relationships. Relationships in families, in married couples, in business, and with God.
If we can better understand why we have the relationships we do with people the better we can make them better or why we have disfunctional relationships and how that effects all the other people we are in contact with. This is a must read for everyone, no matter where you are in any relationship.
7 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
Love is an "Action" Verb! Yes, Action by Us!
By Book Glutton
I first came into contact with Matthew Kelly by purchasing and reading The Dream Manager, a fascinating insight on how people can transform their lives and how we can live this and that we can help others to do the same, especially in the corporate environment. This past Christmas, our Church gave one of Matthew Kelly's books to every family and visitor that celebrated Christmas with us. It was Rediscover Catholicism. Again, Kelly got great reviews from the people. I have bought several other books by him. This current one and The Rhythm of Life: Living Every Day with Passion and Purpose, which I first read as audiobooks. There is a lot of similar thinking in all of his books.
We all know people suffering in relationships. It could be us! We might be a parent looking to guide our children in forming good relationships. I read up on The Seven Levels of Intimacy and thought "with all the difficulties we are having in marriages and relationships these days, this might have some clues to improve my life and help others also." I was fascinated. I think it has helped me in my dealings with others and has given me food to offer others who might confide in me.
Kelly does not stray from the age-old principle that "Love is a decision." It is something we choose to do. It is wanting the best for another person, traditionally said as always seeking the good of another. There was a recent story in the National Catholic Register of a "US Woman to Marry Swiss Guard in Rome" that caught my attention. One of the non-negotiables Miranda Emde was looking for in a man was someone "Who knows how to love and give of himself." There's more if you read the story. But, love is something that one has to want and choose. When he told her his idea of marriage, it clicked with her!
I have discussed these ideas with others. I think we need to open our eyes and make conscious choices about who to love and how we will love. Love ultimately is the "gift of self" which has to be done freely and wisely. We don't just settle for someone. This book can walk us through some basics that can help us to think right about this aspect of our lives. In The Rhythm of Life, Kelly speaks about "Everything is a Choice" and then goes into "Do You Really Know What You Want?" He asks this question of an 80-person graduation class. One girl answered, "A man to share my life with." Not having found one, she asked how she will find him. Kelly answered, "the man who wants you to be a better person." But, more specifically, he added: "When you are wondering if he is really the one for you, consider this one idea: You deserve to be cherished. Cherished! Not just loved. Cherished!" He said her eyes welled with tears and he knew she understood.
These are just things which have stood out to me as I reflect on this book and the wisdom Matthew Kelly communicates to us. Your response to them will point to whether or not the book(s) will interest you. I have walked away from it different, even in my thinking. I sum it up, "Love is an 'Action' Verb!" It is an action that must come from us.
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